M & Z Part 1

I was just finishing my senior year when I met my husband. I was at church when I first laid eyes on him. Specifically at sacrament meeting. I assumed from his outfit that he was a missionary.  He wore the usual white collar dress shirt and tie with nice black pants and a black NorthFace jacket.  I knew he was off limits so I didn't pay much mind to him after that. I then saw him again during second hour. I thought it was odd that a missionary was learning about what we were studying. I'm pretty sure it was the Old Testament. Literally the worse section of the Bible. It's extremely long and boring. Anyway, I smiled at him and I zone out in class and I cross my fingers that I don't get called on to read or share my thoughts. Not much to say. I was usually quiet. I mean it was already quiet but I'm never the one asking questions or volunteering to read a dozen pages. After church I went home and worked on school work and sat at my moms office desk when she received a phone call from a member in the Ward. He asked my mom if it would be okay if a boy named Zach could carpool with us to Seminary in the morning. My mom agreed. As soon as I heard her repeat the name I immediately searched for him on Facebook. Sure enough there he was. The guy I had been kind of observing all day. I was instantly filled with relief. He wasn't a missionary he was an investigator!! Oh my gosh, I was absolutely ecstatic.  I looked deeper into his profile and he was the most beautiful guy I had ever seen. He had soft light brown skin, he had a swift hair swoop that looked beachy. He had the style like the Pacific Islander kids at school. They were always so cool and amazing to watch at assemblies. Anyway I messaged him as soon as I was done looking at his pictures. We hit it off instantly. We carpooled from early February to March. We got pretty serious after 2 weeks of knowing each other. I know... I know. Not far from the tree I guess. Lol (I hate that saying). Anyway we talked on the phone, texted, and messaged all the time. I told my mom I really like Zach and we decided to make things official. When I told my mom she's like; I thought you guys were already together. Well no but now you know and you heard it from me. Anyway that's when things got crazy. Remember,  my mom can't stand seeing me happy. Well my mom started making me take practice ACTs so I could get into BYUI. This was definitely not happening. Zach was planning to go on a mission. He had been baptized before we got together and he was doing the steps he had to do to become a missionary. We were devoted together. We studied the Bible together, we wrote in a notebook to share our thoughts,  we were so adorable and in love. New love is disgusting right? Lol anyway we enjoyed being the "It couple" at church. There were a few within the seniors (priests and laurels). We went to Seminary graduation and Mormon Prom. Y'all Zach asked me with my favorite candy. Reeces! He spelt out with marker on them; "Will you go to LDS prom with me?" He put them in a baggie for me to take to school. Obviously I said yes. Unfortunately Zach didn't go to school with me. He went to a different school. When he moved with his mom he didn't want to change schools so he took the city bus to get to his school. His parents were also divorced so he mainly lived with his mom and he stayed with his dad during the weekends. His family was very accepting. It was as if we had been family all along. His mom knew of me and I adored her. She was always so nice and welcoming. She was not Mormon.

Zach's father is a member of the church and that's who inspired Zach to join.  He wanted to make his dad proud and his brothers. The spring I turned 18 I packed up the things that mattered the most to me and left that very night.  Zach's mom allowed me to live with her and Zach.  I even had my own room. Zach and I wanted to still commit ourselves to God the best we could. Of course, we had our moments when sometimes our thoughts seemed bigger than we could handle. Every time Sunday came around it felt worth it.  We made it another week without failing our covenants. Yes we still saw my mother at church. My mom either arrived earlier than usual or we were just late. I'm an empath. I can read a room within seconds of walking in.  I can sense moods and body language. I whispered to Zach that I think people are talking about us.  He looked around and it was during that passing period where everyone is finding their second hour class. Sure enough he notices that some of the other kids don't even pay attention to us.  I mean they were not looking at us at all. We sat down in the relief society room and the room felt like a stage all over again. Instead of one giant spot light there were two. I looked at Zach in a way that he knew it was time to get out of there.  As we were in the hall I saw my mom talking with other members.  She looked like she had been gossiping. You know the body language. Loud whispers, playing the victim, using hands to express frustration and anger.  I knew right then and there that my mom was the one spreading wild fire. A man that I had known since primary passed me in the hall with tears in his eyes and said "Maria, you know better." I had no idea what he was talking about.  Zach called his mom to pick us up early so we could get out of there.  That was our last Sunday together. I couldn't believe that the very people I grew up with believed something that wasn't true. I later had found out from the young women's president that my mom had said I had ran off to be with Zach to have sex before marriage. They knew Zach was trying to do his best as a new member so I was the one who was shamed. They thought I would know better. What they thought was far from the truth.  Zach and I did live together but we did not have sex. I was baffled that people thought it was there business what was going on between us.  Shouldn't we be praised for actually showing up? We didn't have to come. No one was forcing us to go. Zach wasn't 18 yet and he still chose to go. I was sobbing as soon as we had gotten home.  I had tried and I still was not pure enough. Zach who only been a member for like 3 months was done. That was honestly the last time he gave mormism a chance. Zach and I got married a year later. We decided to get married in the court house in Kent, WA. It was beautiful. The judge allowed us to get married outside. So many of our family and friends came. It was honestly so perfect. Everyone looked so happy. Except for my mother. You can see it in all of our wedding pictures. I can't blame her though and I honestly don't think it was because where we got married, it was because who was there. My mom and dad stressed me out being in the same room. My dad was there with my Nana. My mom completely shuts down when he's around. I understand so much more now. I wish I understood better as a child but as a child, you just want to see your parents happy. If I would've known my mom wasn't going to smile because of my dad. He would've missed the invitation.